


Dreams of a Traitor

by moistadventure



Category: Berserk
Genre: Berserker Armour, Biting, Blood, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Nightmares, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 09:37:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11101842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moistadventure/pseuds/moistadventure
Summary: Guts has recurring nightmares while on Roderick's ship.





	1. Chapter 1

The gentle swishing of the ocean at night did nothing to put the mind of a struggler at ease.

For the past few nights, perhaps a week or more, Guts had been having the same nightmare repeatedly, and i matter what he did to take his mind off of it, it would always come back.

He, would always come back.  
Griffith.  
Femto.  
Traitor.

If Guts tried to think of Casca--  
Femto was destroying her mind.

If he tried to remember the jovial nights of celebration with the old Band of the Hawk--  
The ocean of blood and gore would swell at his feet, Apostles surrounding him.

If he tried to think of nothing at all, just let his mind become blank; the dog would creep into the room, silent at first, only to watch Guts and get a sick kick out of slowly tormenting him in silence. It would pad closer, wagging its tail with sickening delight while it could smell Guts's inhibitions rotting with every step it took towards him.

So, instead, Guts chose to relive the nightmare again; if only to wake up to a new day on this dreaded boat of Roderick's.

...  
. . .  
. . .

*schlck, shclk, schlk...*  
"Unh..! Guts..."

He's here again; the Eclipse. The uncomfortable warmth that the pools of blood offered only served to disturb Guts further. And exactly where in the Eclipse Guts was?

At the scene of Femto's rape of Casca. But Casca wasn't there, Griffith was. Not Femto, Griffith.

Griffith, the "White Hawk."  
Griffith, "our leader."  
Griffith, "my friend."

And on top of him--inside him-- was Guts, head-to-toe in scars, an eye and a forearm missing, his stump of an arm pushing against Griffith's chest; pushing him deeper into the crimson lake made by the deaths of  
his comrades, trying to drown him.

"Ooohh, Guts..! Y-yesss...!" Griffith was writhing underneath Guts, digging his long, feminine fingers into the larger man's scars, wrapping his legs around his back, grabbing his hips and trying to push him in deeper.

Guts could feel his inhibitions slipping away from him; both lust and bloodlust. He could hear something walking up behind him over Griffith's whorish moaning, the sound of a dog panting.

Guts could feel the dog crawl up on to his back, clawing into his scars as grips and kicking off Griffith's hands, which fell limp into the pool of blood they were both in.

A voice that sounded like Guts's own whispered hoarsely into his ear. "Let go of everything..." The dog started alternating between ears, getting louder with each demand. Soon it filled Guts's head louder than Griffith's cooing, and he could not control himself any longer.

Guts could feel the sharp metal plates grow over his skin, making a hollow shell for his severed arm. Soon he could feel his missing limb again, and he used it to grab Griffith by the neck and submerge his head underneath the blood. The sharp, cursed metal started growing over the rest of his body, enveloping him in an embrace more vile than Griffith's.

A rough laughter filled his ears as the Beast glided over his back and let its jaws clamp over his head. At the same time, Femto's head emerged from the blood, Guts's fingers still wrapped around his neck. Femto's hands cupped Guts's jaws, his piercing stare egging Guts on to finish.

Guts started pumping into Femto more ferociously, more wild, like a savage, untamed animal. Femto made strained breaths as Guts's hand squeezed his neck with enough strength to threaten breaking it, Guts's ragged breathing became louder and faster as he neared climax.

Not soon after, Femto wrapped his wings around the both of them drawing them closer, when Guts's jaws opened and violently slammed down into Femto's shoulder, eliciting a shrill cry of ecstasy as they both curled up in orgasm--

"GUTS!"  
Guts opened his remaining eye and took a sharp breath in. Puck was fluttering about in front of his face, holding his stomach with both arms in pain.

"Y-you were having that dream again, huh?" Puck asked him, sounding weak. Guts didn't respond for a few moments, trying to catch his breath and compose himself. "...Yeah, sorry."

Puck looked like he wanted to backchat, but was in too much pain to think of a witty retort. He opened his mouth to say something but winced instead. "I know you can feel it, I'm sorry," Guts said, wiping sweat off his brow and sitting up. "Look, just go and talk to the kid to take your mind off it or something." Puck nodded and weakly flew out.

Guts let his head rest against his pillow. He could hear a dog walking towards him.

"We'll be waiting."


	2. Thoughts of a Survivor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Griffith ponders things outside after an uneventful lovemaking session with Charlotte and eventually starts to think about the one man that made him forget his dream..

Griffith was standing at a balcony outside his room, letting the cool night air wash over his face. The full moon was out tonight, the huge glimmering orb softly illuminating Griffith's naked body.

He had slept naked with Charlotte that night; she had already fallen asleep after the lovemaking. Again, Griffith felt nothing afterward or during. Physical pleasure perhaps, but he didn't.. enjoy it, relish it, it just didn't seem noteworthy to him. He looked across the vast, sweeping rooftops of his city, Falconia.

His ambition.  
His dream, brought to life.  
...He expected to smile.  
He didn't.

Griffith looked back at the moon, as if waiting for some sort of grand insight, or pride, or... anything. But all that met him was the cool air, blowing his snow-white locks around. He touched his hair; examined it. Snow white...

Griffith remembered his time at the Hill of Swords, in the winter, stepping through the snow, again trying to feel any emotion. Stepping through the makeshift gravestones, almost wanting to feel anything at the memories of his former companions. But 'almost wanting' wasn't the same as truly wanting, and again, he felt nothing. And then, piercing his memory..

"GRIIFFIIITH!!"

A pained snarl, almost beastlike. He could remember the hate in Guts' eyes. Eye. Griffith's idle daydreaming had led him back to the Eclipse; where one of Guts' eyes were pierced open, and where Femto violated Casca.

Casca...

Griffith had faint concern for Casca, if only because of the demon child he had as a host catalyst. He felt mostly pity for her, while not much, was still more than what he felt for the other Hawks.

Except...

Guts.

The one man that had made Griffith forget about his dream, if only  
for a fleeting moment. The only man who Griffith thought was a friend, even if he only realised that once he abandoned him.

...

Guts abandoned him..

It was Guts' fault.

Guts' own fault for his struggle.

If only Guts didn't abandon Griffith so soon..  
But.. if Guts hadn't abandoned Griffith, he wouldn't have this unstoppable power; this grand city out of a fairy tale, his new unbeatable army.. so he had him to thank for it all.

 

If.. if only Guts had accepted Griffith's offer to join him in his new army, to be one of his generals, his most trusted confidant.

His friend.

Then Griffith would have the best of both worlds; his dream, and the one man that made him forget about his dream. The one man that.. made him feel something significant, even if it was conflicting.

Griffith held himself and let his mind wander. Years before, the first night he slept with Charlotte, he was thinking of Guts. During his torture (an unpleasant time would be an understatement but even then, Griffith felt no emotion from it) he thought of Guts, albeit when he was rescued by Guts he found himself attempting to strangle him.. but then Guts had embraced him, crying and he realised his hand had fallen away from his neck.

During the Eclipse, when Femto was taking Casca, he didn't once look away from Guts. 

Guts..  
Guts..!  
GUTS...!

Griffith realised he was sweating and clung onto himself tighter; odd, confusing thoughts of Guts being raped instead of Casca, moving to touch Guts when they were splashing each other with water so long ago, thinking of Guts spreading apart Griffith's legs and filling him until he ached, giving Guts that odd book about sex positions and wanting to off handedly mention trying some of them with him, dreamlike sequences where Guts had accepted Griffith's invitation to his army and flying away with each other on Zodd's hand--

Guts, Guts, Guts, Guts, Guts Guts GutsGutsGutsgutsgutsgutssSS

Griffith had suddenly realised he was curled into a ball and sweating quite heavily; face flushed and heart pounding. He looked down and realised he had quite a large erection; much bigger than when he was in bed with Charlotte.

He mopped some sweat from his brow and decided to go back to bed. He could, at the very least, attempt to repeat this experience when Charlotte wanted to make love. 

Maybe then he'd.. enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you Griffith, you're worse than any boat.

**Author's Note:**

> I liked writing this. Hopefully you enjoyed reading it.


End file.
